After A Year of Willingness and Devotion…
By Hilary Kinavey, MS, RD
I am so grateful that I took the time to write my “word of the year” post last year- I’ve loved rereading it. What a powerful reminder that choosing a word (or two or three) really is a compact practice- simple enough for me to hang on to for a whole year. And man, those little words really helped last year. There were moments that I clung to them like a life preserver- my simple words acting as subtle guideposts and a reminder of what my intentions were for myself. They were reminders to take good care to myself, to listen in, and to sometimes do it even when I didn’t want to. (I guess I take this word stuff seriously!)
I now know exactly what I needed last December when I plucked them from my mind. In 2015, I focused on willingness and devotion. The words served as an internal focus I needed to navigate a year of big transition and letting go. Devotion and willingness were reminders of how I hoped to be with myself as I faced my life- with listening and honoring. There was grief, there were plans made and broken. There was learning to notice the places where numbing and coping could deepen into feeling. My intention was to listen in and hear (honestly) what my wisest voice consents to. Turns out my wisest voice and I, at times, seem to live pretty far apart. Typically what I have been hearing sounds something like “Just one more thing”, or “It would be a good idea if”, or “No isn’t a option.” I learned I’m pretty good at saying no in many situations – but if it’s my own to-do list, a goal or some personal striving then “no” apparently hasn’t been an option.
Bottom line? I don’t want my body to have to act as the stop sign. I want to listen to the more subtle signals. I was pretty exhausted at the beginning of 2015 – and now I’m feeling more whole and inhabited. And honestly, I wouldn’t be able to evolve into my new focus for 2016 if I hadn’t figured out how to say no – even when the most logical, ambitious parts of me have been seeking efficiency over sustainability.
The need to listen and allow myself to guide was really powerful for me. Letting myself be the bottom line- really there is no other way that this could have worked for me. On the other side of this honesty with myself I found a rebuilt anatomy. More trust in my worth. More belief in my voice. More certainty in what I want to bring forward. Less concern about contrary voices – my own or others. Relief.
So this year I have a new word to focus on: anatomy. I will be exploring how to rely more deeply on my very foundation – the stuff I am made of. I’ll let you know how it goes….
Did you choose a word? I’d love to hear about it…
“After A Year of Willingness and Devotion… http://ctt.ec/fUxhd+ @BeNourished #BodyTrust”
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Hilary Kinavey, MS, LPC is a therapist and co-founder of Be Nourished. She encourages conscious and authentic living, with the courage to love yourself anyway.